I think I am morally bankrupt
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
