just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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