so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
