ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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