i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
