Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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