So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
