You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
