Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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