I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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