If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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