and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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