are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
