She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
