Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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