I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
