Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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