she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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