i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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