Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
