The maid of honor just puked.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
