I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize