Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize