dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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