I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Damn victory sex feels great
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