I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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