Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
