I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
