God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
