so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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