i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize