WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
