I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
