I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
