If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
