ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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