Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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