turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize