Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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