My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
