in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
