Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
