Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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