marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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