i will never coherently bang her
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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