Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize