I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
