I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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