Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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