if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
