it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
3pm strippers are depressing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
