When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize