i just wanna soil my oats bro
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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