is your mom at the bar?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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