Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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