one two three fourrrrnication!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
