wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
3pm strippers are depressing
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize