You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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