I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
