Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
