If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Vodka?
Forever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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