oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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