I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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