Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
