her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
