You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
