All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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