The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
