I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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