i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
