Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
