I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
as a side note pls kill me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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