a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize