Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
