So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize