I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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