ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
