I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
should my penis look like a turkey
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize