I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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