I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize