8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
