Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
