I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
